Daddies, It’s OK to Miss Your Little Girls

28 Aug

by Roger White

Watching my oldest daughter stride so smartly into her senior year of high school, and my youngest girl, a sophomore, confidently follow in her steps, I found myself struck recently with a peculiar mix of great pride and vague twinges of guilt. It took me some soul-searching and serious contemplation—and serious contemplation comes grindingly hard for me these days—to determine the root of my emotional mélange, but I think I figured it out: I miss my little girls. And I feel guilty for missing them because they’re not even gone!

But in a way, they are.

Somewhere along the line, at some moment in time among those precious years, my little girls grew up. Somewhere between those nights reading them Goodnight Moon while they settled to sleep in their Winnie-the-Pooh footsies and then suddenly watching them, dressed so beautifully, walk out the door with their boyfriends, my babies became young women. How did that happen?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAll the old jokes about sitting on the front porch with a shotgun aside, watching one’s little girls mature into womanhood is such a tough and tender time for fathers. It’s not so much that I’m not the No. 1 man in their lives anymore. Heck, most of my daughters’ boyfriends so far have been pretty good guys—most of them, mind you. And if you don’t know which list you’re on, boyfriends out there, that’s intentional. Watch your step. No, it’s the small things I miss—those little girl moments like the times I would take them for a ride up the stairs, either piggyback or on my feet, as bedtime came; those long summer days at the neighborhood pool when they would yell for me to throw them higher into the air for that great splash; the giggles and smiles I’d receive when I’d bring them little toys and trinkets; and the unashamed kisses and hugs I somehow took for granted. One of my sweetest memories of those days is the time I was tucking my youngest in for the night, and she asked me: “Daddy, can I marry you when I grow up?” Gets me every time when I think about that.

Now that they’re teenagers, most shows of affection—and bits of parental advice—are usually met with a long roll of the eyes and a sarcastic “Oh, Dad!” But I know that’s only normal. The species humanus teenageus can be a snarling, confounding breed. My wife and I often sit and ponder when that time will come when they first realize we’re not complete lamebrains and they utter those cherished words: “Mom and Dad, you were right!”

And now that I’ve had time to work through my thoughts, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s OK to miss my little girls. They’re big girls now, and I love them with all of my heart for who they are and for the bright, talented adults they’ll become. One of the things I’m most thankful for is that even though I’ll always miss those days of Barbies and cartoons and forts made of bedsheets—and letting them do makeovers on me in their Two Sisters Salon—I didn’t miss the days as they happened. It wasn’t all roses; all parents know and ruh rohappreciate the great challenge, the tremendous patience, and the utter lack of sleep involved in raising little ones—but I wouldn’t trade those days for anything in the world. Well, on second thought, if I had it all to do over again, I’d skip the fingernail polish. How on earth do you get that out?

Roger White is a freelance writer living in Austin, Texas, with his lovely wife, two precocious daughters, a very fat dachshund, and a self-absorbed cat. For further adventures, visit oldspouse.wordpress.com.

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9 Responses to “Daddies, It’s OK to Miss Your Little Girls”

  1. Joann August 28, 2013 at 3:09 pm #

    This made me teary-eyed. Time flies.

    Joann

    • oldspouse August 29, 2013 at 8:09 am #

      It sure does. Thanks, Joann.

  2. onlywithwords August 28, 2013 at 8:01 pm #

    This was very touching. It makes me consider what my dad is going through right now. I’m the baby and I’m 17, in a log term relationship, and in college. Such a sweet post! You are a great dad.

    • oldspouse August 29, 2013 at 8:11 am #

      Thank you very much for your kind words. It’s interesting to hear comments from a daughter’s perspective. Know that your dad loves you very much.

      • Rusty August 29, 2013 at 9:19 am #

        Can you flip thru the family pics of the kids when they were young without a tear???? I get all wet, wonder where the time went and never make it very far before closing the book.

      • oldspouse August 29, 2013 at 9:20 am #

        Amen, Rusty. Amen.

  3. shrink on the couch August 29, 2013 at 7:34 pm #

    : * )

    • oldspouse August 30, 2013 at 10:42 am #

      colon asterisk end-parenthesis to you, too, shrinky

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  1. Do Daughters HAVE to have daddies to grow up well??? | poetic single mama - September 1, 2013

    […] Daddies, It’s OK to Miss Your Little Girls (oldspouse.wordpress.com) […]

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